“Would you like to play a game?” -War Games
Let's say I've got this friend and he wants to make movies. He's got the chops when it comes to shooting and editing, but couldn’t write himself out of a paper bag. Still he’s a nice guy that tells good jokes. He makes his living shooting weddings, corporate videos, and local commercials. I’ve seen enough of his stuff to tell he’s got talent.
He's done a few short films here and there. Posted them on YouTube, Vimeo, and has even submitted a few to festivals with good results. Let’s also say I wrote one of his short films. Re-tooled another one that was in trouble. We worked well together. Now, my filmmaking friend needs a feature.
“They'll never take me seriously unless I’ve got a full length under my belt,” he says. “Can you help?”
The reason he calls me is this: He seen some samples of my writing and well, he likes them. Plus, I seem to know how to write a screenplay (at least the formatting looks right) and tell a story visually. The main thing is I'm dirt cheap and by dirt cheap I mean free.
“Okay,” I tell him, since really I have nothing else going on. “What do you want me to write?”
“I need a zero budget feature. Minimal cast and locations with a good story.”
I was thinking in terms of story or genre, but this information helps.
“Like Clerks or El Marachi, or The Following,” he continues. “But it's gotta sell and its gotta be good.”
“Hmm…” I say.
“One other thing, we need to do it fast. I'm leaving to live with the penguins in Antartica in the beginning of next year for six months. I want the whole thing done by the end of December.”
“Holy cow,” I say. “That's a pretty tight deadline.”
“Will you do it,” he asks.
Now I haven’t written a full-length screenplay in seven years. Before that I wrote three. One was co-written and that was the best one. The last film I wrote and directed is stuck in some kind of post-production hell. In the seven year during that time I haven’t written anything of substance.
It’s been only recently that I’ve written a couple of sketches and short films (none of them shot). Some are in talks of getting produced, but nothing major. I still have story ideas, sure, but usually I get bored of them pretty quick.
Still I’ve had this fantasy of making movies fast and cheap and under a very tight time frame. I tried to do that with Man of The House, the last film I shot. I have this irrational belief that a movie can be done in less than four months from start to finish. Even less if your lucky.
Maybe this is my chance.
“When do you need the first draft by,” I ask.
“End of the month,” he says.
“Good Jesus,” I say, “you have any ideas?”
“Nope. You write it and I’ll shoot it,” he gets up to leave. “Let me know what you have by the end of the week. Log line or a one pager would be better. Let me know.”
I let him leave. He wants to leave before I change my mind.
I get up and walk around for a bit, eyeing my iPhone. I can call my filmmaking friend right now and tell him that its impossible. Can’t be done. Find another writer. In fact, there’s no way anybody can do this.
Then I think of Roger Corman’s book, How I Made A Hundred Movies in Hollywood and Never Lost a Dime. If I remember correctly there was a story in that book about Robert Towne (Chinatown, Tequila Sunrise) where he had to write a film for Corman in like five days. They had to lock him in a room until he was done. This was before Chinatown hit it big.
Maybe it can done.
Then, there’s something else I heard, on an Indie Hustle Podcast with Dov Siemen. Your first feature is going to be a play. I get that to an certain extent. You want to keep it as minimal as possible. More talking head, but please God not Mumblecore.
So I think it can be done. And well, that’s important.
So what now?
Well, first things first, I need to come up with a story idea or better yet a concept for a film. And that’s no easy task.
Now, here’s the big question: why am I making this public?
Well, again, I’ve got nothing else going on right now in terms of writing or producing. Plus, there’s that extra added element of accountability.
Late last year, around August, I was still smoking. A detestable habit I’ve had for the last twenty plus years. I had been wanting to quit smoking for awhile. I had read this recommendation from Tim Ferris, where if you do the habit your trying to break, pay a dollar to some cause you don’t like. I picked a charity I hated and vowed to pay them a dollar per cigarette I smoked within a three month period. What made it work is that I told a whole bunch of people what I was doing. My failure would be public. I figure maybe the same thing will happen here.
So I’m going to make this challenge public.
So today is September 3rd, 2018. That means I have to have a full-length screenplay by August 3rd. If nothing else, a first draft.
Now, onto the story.
Let’s make a movie.
-Andrew